West Side Tale Blog

Britney Spears Kicks Off Show, But VMA Night Belongs To Rihanna And Justin Timberlake

No snakes. No same-sex kisses. No magic tricks. No skimpy outfits. OK, plenty of skimpy outfits. After all, it’s Britney, bitch, right? With one of the most anticipated openings in VMA history, Britney Spears tried to get the party started Sunday night with a James Bond-meets-underground S&M club slither through her new single, “Gimme More.” But the evening belonged to Rihanna and Britney’s old beau, Justin Timberlake, who both scooped up two awards, including the coveted Video of the Year for Rihanna in honor of her inescapable smash “Umbrella.” Timberlake videos also won Best Choreography and Best Direction.
After weeks of relentless hype and endless accounts of her preshow partying, Britney’s much-discussed comeback performance opened with a close-up of the back of her head. Staring straight into the camera, she purred the beginning couplet to “Trouble,” made famous by the ultimate Las Vegas legend, Elvis, “If you’re lookin’ for trouble, you came to the right place/ If you’re lookin’ for trouble, look right in my face.” The camera panned out to reveal Spears decked out in Vegas-appropriate bling, including a black, jewel-encrusted bra and hot pants, black boots and nothing else. Sashaying in and out of dancers in skin-tight leather, Spears literally stepped over the back of a male dancer and got intimate with another.

With images of chandeliers floating on the screen behind her mixed with silhouettes of women befitting the intro reel to a James Bond flick, Spears walked across the stage as her scantily clad dancers worked a series of stripper poles scattered throughout the room. And then, after all that hype, a relieved-looking Brit gave a shy smile, whispered “thank you” and exited after a low-key performance that was quickly overshadowed by the likes of high-energy sets from the Foo Fighters, Chris Brown, Kanye and the most talked-about hookup (or is it right hook?) of the night: a scuffle between Pamela Anderson’s former husbands, Kid Rock and Tommy Lee, that had Diddy and Jamie Foxx pleading with rock stars to end the violence.

Sarah Silverman gave her instant take on Britney with a slash and burn mini-monologue that managed to dis Spears’ kids, Madonna and the bits of Brit we hope are kept under wraps from now on. The comedian seemed willing to ease up on her favorite recent target — Paris Hilton — but still managed to get one roundhouse in before paving the way for the night’s first award, Monster Single of the Year. And who else could have taken that one home besides Rihanna? The humble songstress thanked fans and her producers for helping craft the year’s truly monster smash, “Umbrella.”